Reflecting on Relationships: Why I’m thankful for free thinkers.

A few months ago, I made the decision to end my relationship with my ex due to some behavior that they had exhibited that broke boundaries and weren’t consensual. When this happened, it seemed as if my day-to-day began to rapidly change and it all stemmed from this one incident.

Today, I took some time to really step back and reflect on the choices I made during this time and how I handled it, as well as the impacts those choices made. Growing up, I’ve gone through several relationships where I was either cheated on or lead on, which usually resulted in the following scenario:

1. When you out someone as a cheater, it causes a ripple effect. Not only does it stir the pot of drama (which can safely say a majority of outsiders prefer to not bare witness to), but it can also cause widespread impacts in regards to friendships.
2. By posting “x person cheated on y with z”, it makes y’s friends usually unfriend x or otherwise side with y, which then in return causes x’s friends to side with x, causing a equal but nasty clash.
3. Additionally, z’s friends (which usually consist of x and y’s) will usually go after them as well especially as society always deems them as guilty.

I’ve always disliked drama whether it involved me or not, as usually at the end of the day it causes someone to struggle in some manner. Especially with this situation and aware of who “z” was, I didn’t want this situation to affect them negatively as I felt they weren’t as at fault as my ex was. So with this breakup, I decided to do what I felt was best; not out either person and just move on.

Days went on, and very quickly I began to notice little changes here and there. I noticed my friends count on Facebook drop slowly each day, noticing that they were my ex’s friends. As more days went on, even another individual who I considered an incredibly close friend (and still do), stopped responding to me via any social media outlets and has continued to do so til this day.

Reflecting on this today, I realized that I may have inadvertently given myself the “bad ending”, where I was the only one negatively impacted by someone else’s poor choices. I acknowledge the many positives as well including avoiding unneeded drama and not impacting others unfairly, but at the end of the day I can also say one thing..

I’m thankful for the free thinkers: the ones who took a moment to step back and consider that a coin has two sides; I’m thankful for you. To those that don’t base the value of friendship or closeness with another human being on what others’ opinions are; I’m thankful for you.

I’m thankful for those who choose to be their own individuals, who choose to be free thinkers and play their flute to their own accord. When someone loses a lot, especially the friendships of those they cared about in a week’s time, it’s the individuals who stick around that make all the difference.

With this post, I want to put this chapter finally to rest and continue with the new changes I’ve made in my life recently that have made me a much happier individual. This post will not contain names of any individuals besides myself (nor may they be requested) respectively.